Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Top 5 Duds of 2005

5. Election
The watered down, politically correct version that is.

4. The Brothers Grimm
A real test of patience as the brothers try so darn hard to capture your imagination.

3. The Wayward Cloud
Disguised soft porn with madcap song and dance to titillate.

2. Bewitched
Oh Nicole, I so love you, but why oh why did you agree to make a remake that is so far, far away from the original? You twitched your nose so well, you should have wished that this remake could have been done properly, instead of hitting the damn rewind button near the end of the show.

1. Elektra
Jennifer, yo’s so fine in Daredevil, but your figure hugging costumes can’t lift this film from trash. Wonder who’ll emerge champ if you sparred with Halle Berry’s 2004 Catwoman?

Addendum: Some readers have highlighted my omission of The Promise.

Yes dear readers, I did not even consider that an effort of a movie, it's a disgrace to the medium, and to the martial arts genre. To hide behind a label of "fantasy" is just so lame.

I hated it so much that I had wiped it out from memory, until readers had to remind me that it actually existed.

So there, The Promise is ABSOLUTELY THE WORST MOVIE, not only for 2005, but like, EVAR!

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